the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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