i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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