It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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