Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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