i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
