I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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