so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The air was thick with penises
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
