so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
