she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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