dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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