My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize