I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
