i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
