I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
