I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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