I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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