oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize