Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize