your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
