He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Can I color on your dick again?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
