shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize