she was so not down for the gang bang
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
