he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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