I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
