The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
