And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
