Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
