Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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