i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
