so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize