Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
