How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
