He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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