what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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