I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
