Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
