just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
