I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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