We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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