You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
