Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
