I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
