Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
