tell your sister to shave her snatch
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
