Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
