pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
