just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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