Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
