ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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