The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Pants 0. Shit 1.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
