Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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