come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
