would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
