There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
