Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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