Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
third nipple confirmed
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You've changed since you got that strap on
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
