me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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