I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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