How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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