You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize