with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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