Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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