i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
