You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize