You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
