Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
