Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
