i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
