I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
