I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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