chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I look better un-naked...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize