Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize