Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
