I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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