I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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