Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
